Making friends as a female expat in the Netherlands can feel overwhelming when you’re navigating a new culture, language barriers, and unfamiliar social norms. The good news? Building meaningful connections is absolutely achievable with the right approach and mindset. These eight practical strategies will help you create authentic friendships, from leveraging professional networks to embracing local customs. Whether you’re in Amsterdam, Rotterdam, or any other Dutch city, these tips will guide you toward building the social circle you’ve been hoping for.
1: Join professional networks and women’s communities
Professional networks offer one of the most natural environments for meeting like-minded women who understand your journey. These spaces bring together female expats and locals who share similar career goals, challenges, and ambitions. You’ll find yourself surrounded by women who genuinely want to support each other’s success.
Women-focused organizations create structured networking opportunities that feel less intimidating than random social gatherings. Regular meetups, workshops, and events provide consistent touchpoints where relationships can develop naturally over time. The shared professional context gives you immediate conversation starters and common ground.
A business network for women becomes particularly valuable because it combines career development with friendship building. You’re not just networking for professional gain—you’re connecting with women who face similar challenges of balancing career growth with building a new life abroad.
2: Take language classes or cultural workshops
Learning Dutch or participating in cultural activities creates instant bonding opportunities with people who share similar goals. Everyone in your language class is working toward the same objective, which naturally creates a supportive, encouraging environment where friendships can flourish.
These classes provide regular interaction with the same group of people over weeks or months. This consistency allows relationships to develop gradually and authentically. You’ll celebrate small victories together, laugh at pronunciation mistakes, and support each other through challenging lessons.
Cultural workshops also help you build confidence in local settings while meeting people interested in Dutch traditions and customs. Whether it’s a cheese-making workshop or a cycling safety course, these activities combine learning with socializing in a relaxed atmosphere.
3: Volunteer for causes you care about
Volunteering connects you with values-driven individuals who care about making a positive impact. When you’re working alongside people toward a shared mission, conversations flow naturally and relationships develop through meaningful shared experiences rather than small talk.
The regular commitment involved in volunteering allows you to build trust and familiarity with fellow volunteers over time. You’ll see the same faces week after week, creating opportunities for deeper connections to form organically through your shared dedication to the cause.
Local volunteering also helps you understand Dutch society from the inside while contributing positively to your new community. This dual benefit makes you feel more integrated and purposeful, which naturally attracts like-minded people who appreciate your commitment to community involvement.
4: Use expat-focused apps and online communities
Digital platforms designed specifically for expats understand your unique situation and connect you with women facing similar challenges. Apps like Meetup, Bumble BFF, and expat-specific Facebook groups create virtual spaces where you can find your tribe before meeting in person.
Online communities provide valuable advice, recommendations, and support from women who’ve navigated the same journey you’re experiencing. These platforms often organize regular meetups, coffee dates, and social events that transition online connections into real-world friendships.
Social media groups focused on female expat experiences in the Netherlands offer targeted networking opportunities. You can ask questions, share experiences, and connect with women in your specific city or neighborhood, making it easier to arrange face-to-face meetings.
5: What activities help you meet people naturally?
Hobby-based activities create the most organic friendship opportunities because you’re connecting over genuine shared interests. Join a book club, cooking class, fitness group, or sports team where conversations naturally revolve around your common passion rather than forced networking.
Regular activities like weekly yoga classes or monthly hiking groups provide consistent opportunities to deepen relationships. You’ll gradually get to know the same people better, moving from activity partners to genuine friends through repeated positive interactions.
Interest-driven gatherings remove the pressure of “networking” and replace it with genuine fun and shared experiences. Whether you’re learning pottery or playing football, you’re building connections through enjoyable shared activities that create lasting memories and natural conversation topics.
6: Be open about being new and looking for friends
Honesty about your situation attracts supportive, welcoming people who want to help newcomers feel at home. Most people remember what it felt like to be new somewhere and appreciate your vulnerability in admitting you’re seeking connections.
When you’re upfront about looking for friends, you’ll be surprised by how many people respond positively. They might invite you to social events, introduce you to their friend groups, or suggest activities you could enjoy together. Your openness gives others permission to be helpful and inclusive.
Communicating your openness doesn’t mean being desperate—it means being authentic about your desire to build meaningful relationships. This genuine approach tends to attract quality people who value honesty and are interested in forming real friendships rather than superficial connections.
7: Embrace Dutch social customs and local traditions
Understanding and participating in Dutch social norms shows respect for your new culture while creating natural conversation opportunities with locals. Learn about concepts like “gezelligheid” and participate in traditional celebrations to demonstrate your genuine interest in becoming part of the community.
Attending local festivals, markets, and seasonal celebrations puts you in environments where Dutch people are relaxed and social. These settings provide natural opportunities to strike up conversations and show your appreciation for local culture, which many locals find endearing and welcoming.
Participating in traditions like King’s Day, Sinterklaas celebrations, or local neighborhood events shows you’re committed to integrating rather than just passing through. This commitment to cultural integration attracts people who appreciate your effort and want to include you in their social circles.
8: Follow up and nurture new connections consistently
Maintaining contact with new acquaintances requires intentional effort but transforms casual meetings into lasting friendships. Send a follow-up message after meeting someone interesting, suggest meeting for coffee, or invite them to an event you think they’d enjoy.
Turning initial meetings into friendships requires consistent, gentle effort without being overwhelming. Remember details from previous conversations, check in occasionally, and suggest specific activities rather than vague “let’s meet up sometime” promises.
Practical approaches include setting reminders to reach out, creating group chats for shared interests, and being the person who organizes social gatherings. Taking initiative in maintaining relationships positions you as someone people want to include in their social plans and activities.
Your journey to meaningful friendships starts now
Building friendships as a female expat requires patience, effort, and stepping outside your comfort zone, but the rewards are immeasurable. These strategies work because they focus on authentic connections rather than forced networking, allowing relationships to develop naturally through shared experiences and genuine interest.
The key is combining multiple approaches rather than relying on just one strategy. Join professional networks while also taking language classes, and volunteer for causes you care about while embracing local traditions. This multifaceted approach increases your chances of meeting diverse, interesting women who could become lifelong friends.
At Female Ventures, we understand the unique challenges female expats face when building both careers and social connections in the Netherlands. Our community provides supportive environments where meaningful professional and personal relationships flourish naturally. Join us at our events to connect with like-minded women who are also building their new lives in the Netherlands. What’s the first step you’ll take this week toward building your new social circle?
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it typically take to build meaningful friendships as a female expat in the Netherlands?
Building genuine friendships usually takes 3-6 months of consistent effort and regular interaction. The key is attending the same activities repeatedly and following up with people you connect with. Remember that quality matters more than quantity—focus on nurturing a few promising connections rather than trying to befriend everyone you meet.
What should I do if I feel too shy or anxious to approach people at networking events or social gatherings?
Start with smaller, structured activities like language classes or hobby groups where conversation topics are naturally provided. Prepare a few conversation starters in advance, such as asking about someone's experience in the Netherlands or their recommendations for local activities. Remember that many other expats feel the same way, so your vulnerability can actually help others feel more comfortable too.
Is it necessary to learn Dutch to make friends with locals, or can I stick to English-speaking expat communities?
While you can absolutely build friendships within English-speaking expat communities, learning basic Dutch significantly expands your social opportunities and shows locals you're committed to integrating. Even conversational Dutch helps you connect with a broader range of people and participate more fully in local traditions and workplace relationships.
How do I handle cultural differences when building friendships with Dutch women?
Dutch women tend to value directness, punctuality, and planning ahead for social activities. They may seem more reserved initially but are generally very loyal friends once relationships develop. Embrace their straightforward communication style and don't take their honesty personally—it's a sign of respect and trust in Dutch culture.
What are some red flags to watch out for when making new friends as an expat?
Be cautious of people who only want to practice English with you, consistently cancel plans last minute, or seem interested only in what you can do for them professionally. Healthy friendships should feel reciprocal, with both people making effort to maintain contact and showing genuine interest in each other's lives beyond surface-level interactions.
How can I maintain friendships from my home country while building new ones in the Netherlands?
Schedule regular video calls with old friends and be intentional about sharing your new experiences with them. However, avoid constantly comparing your new Dutch friendships to relationships back home, as this can prevent you from fully embracing new connections. Balance is key—nurture existing relationships while remaining open to different friendship styles in your new culture.
What should I do if I've tried these strategies for several months but still haven't made close friends?
Consider whether you're being too selective or not following up consistently with potential friends. Sometimes adjusting your approach—trying different types of activities, being more proactive about organizing meetups, or seeking support from a counselor familiar with expat challenges—can make a significant difference. Remember that building deep friendships takes time, and persistence often pays off just when you're feeling most discouraged.