Networking can feel like an uphill battle for women, especially when you’re navigating a new country and professional culture. The truth is, many brilliant female professionals sabotage their own networking efforts without realising it. These common mistakes keep talented women invisible in their industries and limit their career growth. Understanding these pitfalls is the first step to building meaningful professional relationships that actually advance your career.
Why networking feels harder for women than it should
Let’s be honest, networking isn’t exactly a level playing field. As women, we face unique challenges that make professional relationship-building more complex than it needs to be. Cultural expectations often teach us to be modest, wait our turn, and avoid appearing too pushy or self-promotional.
These ingrained behaviours clash with traditional networking approaches that favour bold self-promotion and assertive relationship-building. Add language barriers and unfamiliar cultural norms to the mix, and it’s no wonder many female expats find networking overwhelming.
The good news? Once you recognise these patterns, you can start building authentic professional relationships that feel natural and effective. A strong business network for women becomes your career catalyst, not just a collection of business cards.
1: Playing it too safe in conversations
You know that networking event small talk about the weather or the venue’s catering? That’s exactly where most women get stuck. We tend to stick to safe, surface-level topics because we don’t want to appear boastful or risk saying something wrong.
This approach makes you forgettable. When someone asks what you do, responding with “Oh, I work in marketing” tells them nothing about your expertise, achievements, or unique perspective. Meanwhile, your male colleagues are confidently sharing their latest project wins and industry insights.
Start taking calculated conversational risks. Share a recent challenge you solved at work, mention an interesting trend you’ve noticed in your industry, or ask thought-provoking questions about their business. These conversations create memorable connections that lead to follow-up opportunities.
2: Waiting for the perfect moment to reach out
Perfectionism is networking poison. You meet someone interesting at an event, exchange contact details, and then spend weeks crafting the “perfect” follow-up message. By the time you finally send it, they’ve forgotten who you are.
This pattern of overthinking and over-preparing prevents you from building momentum in your professional relationships. You convince yourself you need more credentials, a better portfolio, or the perfect opportunity before reaching out to that senior leader you admired.
The truth is, there’s never a perfect moment. Send that LinkedIn connection request within 24 hours with a simple, personalised message. Follow up on interesting conversations while they’re still fresh. Imperfect action beats perfect inaction every time.
3: Focusing only on what you can get, not give
Transactional networking feels icky because it is icky. When you approach every conversation thinking “What can this person do for me?” people sense your agenda immediately. This approach backfires spectacularly and leaves you feeling frustrated with networking altogether.
Successful networking starts with generosity. Before reaching out to someone, ask yourself what value you can offer them. Maybe you’ve read an article that would interest them, know someone in their target market, or have insights about a challenge they mentioned.
This value-first approach transforms networking from awkward self-promotion into genuine relationship-building. When you consistently help others, they naturally want to help you in return. It’s networking that actually feels good for everyone involved.
4: Underestimating your own value and expertise
Imposter syndrome hits women particularly hard in networking situations. You downplay your achievements, avoid mentioning your successes, and position yourself as someone who needs help rather than someone who brings value to professional relationships.
This self-doubt causes you to miss opportunities to showcase your expertise. You stay quiet during group discussions where you could contribute valuable insights. You introduce yourself with apologetic language instead of confident statements about your professional identity.
Start documenting your wins, no matter how small they seem. Keep a running list of problems you’ve solved, projects you’ve completed, and positive feedback you’ve received. This evidence helps you recognise your own professional value and communicate it authentically to others.
5: Networking only when you need something
The biggest networking mistake? Treating it like emergency medicine. You only reach out to your professional contacts when you’re job hunting, facing a crisis, or desperately need a favour. This reactive approach makes every interaction feel transactional and awkward.
Consistent relationship maintenance is what separates successful networkers from everyone else. This means staying in touch with your professional connections regularly, not just when you need something from them. Share interesting articles, congratulate them on achievements, or simply check in periodically.
Building this habit takes the pressure off individual interactions. When you do need support, you’re reaching out to people who already know and trust you, rather than strangers you haven’t spoken to in years.
Transform your networking approach starting today
Shifting your networking mindset doesn’t require a complete personality overhaul. Start with small, consistent actions that build your confidence and expand your professional circle. Set aside time each week for relationship-building activities, whether that’s commenting thoughtfully on LinkedIn posts or scheduling coffee chats with interesting colleagues.
Remember that authentic networking is about building genuine professional relationships, not collecting contacts. Focus on quality connections with people who share your values and professional interests. A strong business network for women provides support, opportunities, and friendship throughout your career journey.
Consider joining communities designed specifically for women in your situation. We offer networking events and opportunities to connect with other female professionals who understand the unique challenges of building careers in the Netherlands. Sometimes the best networking happens when you’re surrounded by people who truly get your experience.
What networking mistake have you been making that’s ready to change? Your future professional self will thank you for taking that first brave step today.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I start networking conversations without sounding pushy or self-promotional?
Begin with genuine curiosity about the other person's work and challenges. Ask open-ended questions like 'What's the most exciting project you're working on right now?' or 'What trends are you seeing in your industry?' This approach naturally creates space for you to share your own insights and experiences as part of the conversation flow, rather than launching into a sales pitch about yourself.
What should I do if I feel too inexperienced to offer value to senior professionals?
Remember that value comes in many forms beyond years of experience. You might offer fresh perspectives, knowledge of new technologies, insights from different industries, or connections to younger demographics. Even sharing relevant articles, industry reports, or introducing them to other professionals in your network provides genuine value. Your unique background and viewpoint are assets, not limitations.
How often should I follow up with networking contacts without being annoying?
Aim for meaningful touchpoints every 2-3 months for most professional contacts, and monthly for closer connections. Quality matters more than frequency - share something relevant to their interests, congratulate them on achievements, or check in during industry milestones. If they consistently don't respond after 2-3 attempts, give them space and try again in 6 months.
What's the best way to network when I'm naturally introverted or socially anxious?
Focus on one-on-one coffee meetings or smaller group settings rather than large networking events. Prepare 3-4 thoughtful questions in advance to guide conversations. Set realistic goals like having one meaningful conversation per event rather than meeting everyone. Online networking through LinkedIn comments and industry forums can also be less overwhelming while still building valuable connections.
How do I handle networking when English isn't my first language?
Prepare key phrases and your professional introduction in advance to boost confidence. Don't apologize for your accent - focus on clear, simple communication rather than complex vocabulary. Many people appreciate the effort and find diverse perspectives refreshing. Consider joining international professional groups where multilingual networking is the norm and others share similar experiences.
What should I do if someone doesn't respond to my networking outreach?
Don't take it personally - people are busy and emails get lost. Wait 1-2 weeks, then send one polite follow-up with a clear subject line. If there's still no response, move on gracefully. Focus your energy on people who do engage, and remember that timing matters - they might be more receptive to connecting in the future.
How can I maintain my professional network while working remotely or changing jobs frequently?
Use LinkedIn strategically to stay visible - share industry insights, comment on others' posts, and update your network about career moves. Schedule quarterly virtual coffee chats with key contacts. Join online professional communities and attend virtual industry events. Create a simple spreadsheet to track when you last connected with important contacts, ensuring no one falls through the cracks.